


I Wanna Hear You Callin' My Name

by humapuma



Series: When You Need That, I'll Provide That [2]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blow Jobs, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Captain America Steve Rogers/Modern Bucky Barnes, Dance Instructor Bucky, Dirty Talk, Idiots in Love, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Protective Natasha Romanov, Rimming, Sexual Content, Shrunkyclunks, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Steve has some issues, Toxic Masculinity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:07:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25700320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/humapuma/pseuds/humapuma
Summary: “Let me get this straight,” Nat said, leaning forward and resting her elbows on the table. “You met someone who doesn’t give a shit that you’re Captain America, who clearly likes you, and who makes youhappy, and your 1930s-eramasculinityis keeping you from telling him what he means to you or, God forbid,showing him.”“Yes,” Steve answered immediately.With a sigh, Nat said, “Well, this sucks.”Sequel to I Like the Dirty Rhythm You Play!
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Series: When You Need That, I'll Provide That [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1863856
Comments: 42
Kudos: 355





	I Wanna Hear You Callin' My Name

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all! I did not sit down with the intention to write a sequel to I Like the Dirty Rhythm You Play, but it happened and I really like it. There is angst and there is happiness, plus some smut (hoo boy, that smut).  
> I hope you enjoy it!  
> Title inspired by Hey Mama by David Guetta, Afrojack, Bebe Rexha, and Nicki Minaj.

“Thanks for dinner,” Bucky purred, smiling. “I had a really great time.”

“Me too,” Steve answered, pulling him in for a deep, possessive kiss.

His hands wandered over Bucky’s shoulders and back and it wasn’t long before they were pressed together, shoved against the wall. Bucky tasted so good and he felt so perfect, tucked against Steve’s body as if he was meant to be there.

“Do you want to come up?” Bucky rasped, running his fingers through Steve’s short hair.

Pressing a final kiss to Bucky’s lips, Steve said, “It’s pretty late.”

With a shaky breath but an adorably hopeful tone, Bucky offered, “You could… stay? The night.”

When Steve leaned away, he could tell that Bucky was working hard to keep his smile bright, to keep Steve from seeing his true feelings. But Steve saw it all – the anxiety, the fear, the nearly palpable sadness that had already settled just below the surface.

This wasn’t the first time he’d suggested Steve stay the night… and this wasn’t the first time Steve had declined. In fact, the first time they had fallen asleep together had also been the last time.

Steve’s issues weren’t cured, by any means; his energy levels were as high as ever and he struggled to successfully rest for more than a few hours every night.

“I have an early morning,” Steve explained, stepping closer to kiss him again. “But I’ll call you, okay? We’ll do something.”

Bucky bit his lip, moving backward and avoiding Steve’s eye. Steve could feel his disappointment and, without another word, Bucky spun on his heel and made his way inside his apartment building. When the door shut decisively, Steve stared after him, struggling to understand why he _kept saying no_.

Bucky was everything Steve hadn’t known he’d been missing and the more time they spent together, the more Steve knew he wanted Bucky, wanted _this_ … but something kept holding him back.

Sighing, he frowned. Maybe… maybe he truly was a product of his time, struggling to show affection or emotion, terrified of allowing himself to be vulnerable. Or… was he afraid to get attached after everything he’d been through? Everything he’d lost?

Whatever the reason, the trajectory was clear. Steve wasn’t a fool… he knew that, if something didn’t change, he might lose Bucky forever. Since the day they’d met, Bucky had been open and honest about his feelings and desires, but Steve had been far less so.

As Bucky disappeared up the stairs, Steve’s frustration only grew. _Why am I like this_? He demanded of himself, turning and pacing from the door to his bike, then back. Bucky was walking up to his apartment, disappointed and maybe even hurt, and for what? _What am I doing_?

Before he could think twice, he rushed into the apartment building and up the stairs. He remembered the exact location of Bucky’s apartment but stopped outside the door when a distinct sound caught his attention.

A _sob_ … a sniffle… Bucky was crying. Judging by how close it sounded, Steve was sure he was still in his entry way.

He raised his hand to knock when there was some shuffling and then Bucky’s voice began, “Hey, Becca.”

With his advanced hearing, Steve could pick up the muffled voice that indicated Bucky was talking on the phone. He grit his teeth and stepped back, not wanting to invade Bucky’s privacy, but then…

“I don’t know what I’m doing wrong,” Bucky wept and Steve shut his eyes, horrified at the pain he’d caused. “He… I thought he wanted me, you know? But… I guess he got what he wanted.” Steve scrubbed his face hard, feeling intense shame rising inside his chest. “He asked me to dinner again and we had a great time but… he shuts down when I suggest he come inside.”

Leaning against the opposite wall, Steve tried to force himself to move, to leave, but he couldn’t.

“No, we’ve… we’ve had sex since the first time,” Bucky continued. “I don’t know, Becca… maybe we just want different things, you know?”

A tension arose in Steve’s gut at the implication of those words: Bucky was considering ending it.

“Yeah… you’re right.” Bucky was still crying, Steve could tell, but there was more of an acceptance in his tone than there had been only moments before. “I’ll tell him when he calls me. Just… get it over and done with.”

Steve ran down the stairs and out the door, climbing on his bike and riding away. Bucky was going to break things off and Steve wanted nothing more than to change his mind, but… could he? Could he break through years of learned social mores in order to _show_ Bucky the affection he needed? The affection he _deserved_?

He arrived at the tower and made his way to the fiftieth floor, banging on the door there. After a few moments, he could hear movement from within and stepped back, slightly concerned he might get a fist to his face for this.

“What the _fuck_ , Rogers?” Nat demanded after she yanked her door open. She was wearing shorts and a loose t-shirt that she’d obviously been sleeping in, but Steve merely pushed past her. “Come on in,” she grumbled, letting the door shut.

“I need your help,” he asserted, stopping at her dining table and sitting down. “Please, I need your help.”

Her irritation faded and she took the seat opposite him. “Tell me.”

He nodded. “I’ve been… seeing someone.” Her eyes widened a fraction before she schooled her expression and waited for him to continue. “He… he’s amazing. He’s funny and sweet and _so_ fucking sexy but…”

He trailed off but she merely cleared her throat and said, “Go on.”

“Right, yeah.” He sat back and rubbed his neck. “We started seeing each other, um, about a month ago. I thought I just wanted it to be sex at first but, then… something changed.”

“You started to like him?” She smirked.

“I liked him already,” Steve answered. “I just… I guess, I figured he wanted… the experience, or something.”

“So, what changed?” Nat brought one leg up and folded it underneath her.

Steve sat back in his chair and looked at her for a moment, brows furrowed. “He’s honest. He tells me what he wants and how he feels. He didn’t bullshit me because I’m Captain America.”

She gave him a satisfied smile. “It sounds like everything is good so far.” At that, Steve felt his happiness begin to dissipate. Nat must have seen it, as she went on, “But _something_ brought you to my apartment in the middle of the night.”

He nodded. “I’m… I’m pushing him away. I don’t mean to but… he asks me to sleep over, to spend the night, and I can’t.”

“Then tell him you don’t feel comfortable sleeping over. Is it because of the paparazzi or something? He’d understand.”

“No, it’s not that.” Steve scrubbed both hands over his face. “He’s so open about his – his feelings and I… I don’t know how to do that. The – the sex, I can do. But, the…”

She frowned. “You don’t know how to be affectionate.”

“No,” he answered in a whoosh of breath. “I don’t. I – men didn’t do that… God, I can’t believe about to say this but, _in my day_.”

“Let me get this straight,” she said, leaning forward and resting her elbows on the table. “You met someone who doesn’t give a shit that you’re Captain America, who clearly likes you, and who makes you _happy_ , and your 1930s-era _masculinity_ is keeping you from telling him what he means to you or, God forbid, _showing him_.”

“Yes,” he answered immediately.

With a sigh, Nat said, “Well, this sucks.”

Steve’s frown deepened. “Do you think it’s too late?”

“Honestly? I think this guy has been inhumanly patient to keep trying after a month of this.”

Steve bit his lip as a profound sadness settled inside his chest. He hadn’t realized how much Bucky meant to him until that moment – until he was faced with the possibility that Bucky might end it.

“However,” Nat went on after a long pause, “the fact that he has waited this long tells me that he isn’t the type to give up that easily.”

Steve sat up a little. “You think so?”

“I do, _but_ ,” she emphasized, pointing at Steve’s chest, “you are going to have to put a lot of work into this.

He nodded. “I will. Whatever it takes.”

“You have to trust me on this, Steve,” she added. “This will feel uncomfortable at first, even contrary to what you think you should do.”

“I don’t care,” he said.

Nat talked for some time, laying out ideas for the better part of a half-hour before she stopped. At the same time, Steve felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

Pulling it out, he sighed. “We’ve got a mission.”

Nat stood up and rushed to her room just as Steve headed out the door. When he was boarding the Quinjet, he took a deep breath and typed a message to Bucky: _Have a mission. Dinner when I get back?_

He doubted that Bucky would answer, considering the hour, so he shut his phone down and tucked it in his uniform. As Sam rushed through the door, Steve asked, “What is it?”

“Robots,” Sam answered simply.

“Remnants of Ultron,” Steve surmised and Sam nodded.

“You know,” he went on in a grumble, “before I met you, fighting robots was not something I’d ever seen myself doing.”

Steve chuckled but didn’t respond as Nat headed toward the cockpit. The door closed and she started the engine, calling, “Fasten your seatbelts, boys. Stark and Thor are already on their way.”

Steve sat down and let his head fall back against the wall. He couldn’t sleep, he knew, but he was in no mood to talk to anyone. Nat had given him a lot to consider, much of which he’d never even thought of before. He realized that he’d approached this entire relationship all wrong. If she was right, Bucky believed that Steve was only seeing him for sex, not for the intimacy that Bucky wanted.

_Maybe we just want different things_ , he’d overheard Bucky say on the phone.

The realization that he’d been so thoughtless gnawed at him through the entire journey and well into their fight. However, after so much of it, his mind cleared.

He would never admit how comfortable he felt in a fight. With each robot that he destroyed, a sense of normality washed over him. It was the closest he could get to who he’d been seventy years before.

That time, though, the sense of calm unsettled him. Why did he _long_ to be that man again? What was it about that person – that _time_ – that he wished to connect to?

There was nothing there for him anymore. There was no _Bucky_ there for him.

If he gave it up, if he just _let go_ of it, what would he lose? The dreams that he’d had in his youth were long gone, lost to time… but he could find new dreams. Once, he had told Tony that the man who wanted a normal life had gone into the ice seventy-five years before – that someone _else_ had come out. He could _build_ a life – a real life.

He could free himself from the rigid confines of who he used to be and finally step into this century, fully and without the constraints of his previous life.

This line of thought was cut short when an explosion erupted from behind him. He had a split second to react, holding his shield up to protect his head and body before the blast sent him flying through a storefront window.

His ears were ringing from the blast but he could just make out that someone was talking. It took several seconds before he could make out Sam’s voice. “ _Cap_!” He tried to answer but all he could do was groan in pain. “ _We’re heading to you_.”

He would have been grateful for that if not for the ominous rumbling sound that came from the building he was in. “N-no, Sam,” he finally slurred out. “There’s another bomb.”

“ _Get out of there_!”

Steve rolled to his feet and forced himself to run, however slowly. The pain spread through his legs and up his back but he couldn’t stop to assess the wounds. As he leapt through the broken window, he heard the explosion coming from somewhere above him.

He lay on the ground for a few moments, staring up at the gray sky. It was at that moment that he thought of Bucky’s face, so beautiful and exuberant. With that image, he forced himself to stand and keep moving. Behind him, the building was already beginning to collapse into itself, which only spurred him to run faster.

“ _You’re bleeding,_ ” Sam said and Steve turned around, seeing his friend flying toward him. “Let’s get you to the Quinjet,” he said as he landed.

“No,” Steve argued, “we still have a job to do.”

He heard Sam grumble, “Shit,” behind him when he turned and rushed toward the fighting, but he didn’t look back.

Dozens more robots were encroaching and there were civilians that needed their help. There was no time to worry about his injuries. At least, he thought so, until the third bomb went off and everything went dark.

Later, he woke up in the Quinjet with a terrible pounding in his head. “What hit me?” He asked no one in particular.

“Half a building,” Sam answered with a smirk. “They’ve replayed on the news twice so far. You alright?”

Steve rolled his shoulders and shifted his legs, checking for injuries. “I’ll be fine.”

“Alright,” Sam answered, though he clearly wasn’t buying into it. “We’ll be at the tower in seven minutes and I’m walking your ass to medical myself.”

“Don’t need it,” Steve argued but Sam crossed his arms.

“I wasn’t _asking_.”

Steve sighed, too tired to fight, and lay back down. After a moment, though, something Sam said struck him and he sat back up, ignoring the way his head spun. “You said – the fight was on the news?”

Sam nodded with a hint of a smirk. “Yeah, they caught your battle with the building.”

Steve grimaced – both from the information and Sam’s terrible joke. He dug in his pocket until he found his phone, grateful that it was still in one piece considering what it had been through. He powered it on and waited as notifications lit up the screen – missed calls, voicemails, texts, and social media alerts. Without waiting to listen to any of the messages, he dialed Bucky’s number and waited.

It barely rang once before Bucky answered. “ _Steve? Oh, my God, are you okay_?” His voice was frantic and Steve couldn’t imagine what he must have been going through.

“I’m okay,” Steve replied. “It looked worse than it was.”

There was a quiet sound that Steve was sure had been a sob that Bucky’d tried to hold back. “ _I – I was so scared but I… didn’t want to bother you_.” Steve’s chest ached at Bucky’s sorrowful tone. “ _I’m glad you’re okay_.”

_This is it_ , Steve thought and he knew he had to do something.

“I have to get cleared by medical,” he said, “then… could I come over?”

Bucky hesitated for a moment. “ _Come over_?”

“Yeah,” Steve confirmed.

“ _Um, I mean, you were just blown up, Steve_.”

Steve blanched. “No, no, I didn’t mean – I wasn’t just suggesting we – I meant, I wanted to bring dinner.”

Clearing his throat, Bucky said, “ _You don’t have to do that_.”

“I want to,” Steve affirmed.

There was a long moment of silence during which Steve was sure his heart would beat out of his chest. _Please don’t say no_.

“ _Okay_ ,” Bucky finally answered. “ _Sure_.”

Steve’s eyes closed in relief. “Pizza?”

“ _Yeah, that sounds good_.”

With a smile, Steve said, “I’ll see you soon.”

Bucky didn’t respond but the fact that he’d agreed gave Steve hope, if only a little. He rushed the doctors through their examinations, much to Sam’s disapproval, but by seven that night, Steve was showered and dressed. A short time later, he stood outside Bucky’s apartment building, holding two large pizzas. He used the buzzer and waited until the lock clicked before he rushed inside.

With a deep, calming breath, Steve knocked on the door. When Bucky opened it, Steve smiled and stepped forward, pressing a small, chaste kiss to Bucky’s lips. As he pulled back, he caught a surprised look on Bucky’s face but ignored it.

“Come on,” he said, leading Bucky inside. “Let’s eat before it gets cold. Do you want to watch a movie?”

Bucky’s brows furrowed but he nodded his head. “Uh, yeah, do you… have a preference?”

Steve thought for a moment before he asked, “What’s your favorite movie right now?”

The amount of surprise in Bucky’s face at the question made Steve even more angry with himself. Had he not asked such a mundane question before? Had he been so self-centered that he hadn’t noticed?

“Um, I really enjoyed that movie, _Underwater_.” Bucky bit his lip, obviously unsure in this situation.

“I’ve heard of it but I haven’t seen it.” He set the pizzas on the counter and waited while Bucky gathered plates.

“Do you want a beer?” He asked and Steve nodded.

“Yeah, please.”

Once they had everything, they settled in the living room to watch the movie. Steve noted that Bucky had settled himself about a foot away on the couch but he didn’t move closer. Not yet.

As the movie was winding down, Steve gathered the plates and leftover pizza to take to the kitchen. He consolidated the remaining slices into one box and put it in Bucky’s fridge before he washed the dishes.

There was something about these mundane activities, something domestic, and it made Steve feel _happy_.

The trick was convincing Bucky of it.

“Steve?” Bucky called and Steve turned toward him.

“Yeah, Buck?” He asked, watching as Bucky fidgeted in his spot, shifting from foot to foot.

Steve realized what was happening – he was working up the nerve to end it.

“Buck,” he blurted, stepping forward in a rush and taking Bucky’s face in his hands. “I have to say this and then… then you can say whatever you need to.”

Bucky swallowed. “Okay.”

Steve took a deep breath and began, “I know I haven’t been giving you what you need. But I know I can do better.”

Bucky furrowed his brow as tears formed in his eyes. “What?”

“I’m sorry,” Steve went on, “I’ve been so selfish.”

“Steve,” Bucky interrupted, pulling away a little, “You don’t have to say this.” He bit his lip to conceal the tremble that Steve had already seen.

“I want to show you I can do better,” Steve announced, stepping in close again. Nat had been right that this would feel uncomfortable at first, but he couldn’t have cared less. “When I was away – when that bomb went off – all I could think about was seeing you again.” Bucky’s eyes rounded as Steve spoke. “I… I missed you.”

Swallowing, Bucky breathed, “Yeah?”

“So much,” Steve affirmed. There was fear written all over Bucky’s face but… there was _hope_ too. “I didn’t even know I was missing something until I met you, Bucky Barnes. I know it’s only been a month but I don’t want to let you go.”

Bucky sniffled. “But you… you never let me get close.”

“I know, Buck, I know. I don’t have an excuse.” He heaved a sigh. “I’m not used to it. I never learned how to… do this. But, I want to.” Leaning in, he pressed a small kiss to Bucky’s lips. “I will do better. I promise.”

He could tell that Bucky was struggling; he seemed as if he _wanted_ to believe what Steve was saying, but something held him back. Steve needed to take one more step.

Taking a deep breath, Steve went on, “It’s getting late.” Bucky met his gaze and Steve watched it turn hard with old hurt, but he continued. “Maybe, I could stay the night.”

Bucky blinked. “What?”

Steve smiled at him. “Well, I feel like we have a lot to talk about. Might take all night, you know?” He tucked a lock of hair behind Bucky’s ear. “So, I think I should just stay.”

Bucky’s face brightened for a moment before he seemed to shake himself. “Steve, if this isn’t what you really want –”

“I do want it,” Steve interrupted. “I want it all the time, Buck.” He took a moment to prepare his thoughts and prayed Bucky would listen – that it wasn’t too late. “I know I messed up – a lot. I messed up _a lot_.” He stepped closer still and Bucky allowed it. “But I can do better. I _want_ to.”

“Steve…” Bucky breathed, eyes wide and wet.

“Let me do better,” Steve pleaded. “Let me try.”

Bucky bit his lip while he looked over Steve’s face, as if searching for something. Whether or not he found it, Steve wasn’t sure, but after a few moments, Bucky finally spoke. “If we do this, we really do this,” he said, his voice resolute. “No more half-in, half-out, Steve. I’m not doing it anymore.”

Steve released a sigh of relief, beaming at Bucky so hard that his cheeks ached. “Never again, I swear.”

Bucky’s expression was still slightly guarded, which Steve knew may continue for a time as they worked through this together. Swallowing, Bucky asked, “Where do you want to start?”

With a smile, Steve answered, “Let’s sit down. Do you want another beer or anything?”

Bucky shook his head. “I think I should drink some water.”

“I’ll get it,” Steve offered and made his way to the cupboard.

They sat on Bucky’s couch and talked for hours – Steve prompted Bucky with questions about his family, growing up, and how he became an instructor. As the night went on, he learned that Bucky’s sister, Rebecca (which must have been who he’d called the night Steve had overhead him) was his twin.

“We got these matching tattoos on our eighteenth birthday. It was just a few months before I moved to New York to attend Juilliard.”

“What did you study there? Is it called studying in dance?”

“Yes, it’s called studying,” Bucky chuckled. “I dreamt of dancing with the New York City Ballet but… well, that didn’t work out.” His eyes seemed distant as he said this and Steve felt something was wrong.

“Can I ask what happened?”

Without looking up, Bucky answered, “I was… attacked.”

Steve frowned. “What?”

Bucky’s breathing had become a little erratic and Steve wasn’t sure what to do. Should he keep asking or let it go? In the end, Bucky made the choice for him.

“I, uh – when I was twenty, I was dating this military guy and we were out celebrating his birthday. We were walking back to my apartment after partying at a friend’s place when some skinheads saw us holding hands.” Steve felt his body go cold. “They were beating the shit out of him pretty bad and, when I tried to defend him, one of them pulled out a knife.”

Bucky’s hands were shaking as he lifted his shirt up, exposing the line of metal plates tattooed along the side of his torso. Steve remembered clearly the feel of the skin there – the raised flesh that he’d kissed a dozen times without knowing what story lay beneath.

“He nearly cut me open,” Bucky continued, letting the garment fall back into place. “The muscle was severely damaged and, to this day, I can’t perform the lifts I’d need to in a professional company.” As he spoke, he kept his eyes averted from Steve’s, as if fearful of what he might find if he looked up. “I was forced to drop out of Juilliard and I got jobs as a waiter and bartender, then later I started working at the smoothie counter at the gym.”

Steve remained silent, barely breathing, as he listened to Bucky’s story. When it became clear that he was finished speaking, Steve said, “What happened to your boyfriend?”

“He was okay,” Bucky explained, finally meeting Steve’s gaze. “They bruised his ribs and broke his nose. He actually started working for SHIELD after that.”

“Do you mind if I ask what his name is?”

Bucky chewed his bottom lip but nodded. “Brock Rumlow.”

Steve blinked. “What?”

“I know what he did,” Bucky went on, his tone urgent, bordering on desperate. He reached out and took Steve’s hand, as if he feared Steve might leave after hearing this. “I know who he became but… when I knew him, he was… nobody. We met in a bar after he’d been discharged from the military.”

Steve took a deep breath. “You two broke up after that night?”

“No, he visited me in the hospital a couple of times but… I was scared after it happened. I couldn’t let him touch me anymore.” His hair had fallen into his face and Steve carefully tucked it behind his ear, letting his hand linger on Bucky’s cheek. Bucky shut his eyes, leaning into Steve’s touch and sighing. “He said I was being a coward, that I was letting them win,” he went on, sniffling as tears filled his eyes. “It was easy for him to say that.”

Up to that point, Steve had ensured there was a space between them on the couch, but he couldn’t any longer. Scooting over, he wrapped one arm around Bucky’s waist and the other around his shoulders, then pulled him until Bucky sat securely on his lap. Tucking Bucky’s face into his neck, he held him close and rubbed his back. Bucky melted into the embrace, burying both hands into Steve’s hair as he cried.

There was a heady feeling erupting in Steve’s chest, burning warm and bright, but he couldn’t name it. He didn’t know if it was love but he did know that it made him feel hopeful.

It made him believe that there was something for them, something they could build together.

Bucky leaned away and swiped at his eyes with the back of his hands. “I didn’t mean to cry all over you,” he whispered.

Steve wiped Bucky’s cheeks with both thumbs, shaking his head. “Don’t apologize. I’m… I’m happy you felt like you could.” Bucky met Steve’s gaze but didn’t respond, so Steve added, “I want to keep earning your trust again.”

Before Bucky could answer, he yawned and Steve looked glanced back toward the kitchen to check the time.

“Getting tired?” He asked. “It’s almost three.”

With a sigh, Bucky said, “Yeah.”

“You wouldn’t happen to have a spare toothbrush, would you?”

Bucky nodded. “Yeah, I have extras.”

After a moment of hesitation, Steve offered, “I can sleep on the couch if you want.”

Rolling his eyes, Bucky stood up. “Come on. You’re coming to bed with me.”

They made their way to Bucky’s bathroom and brushed their teeth before shucking most of their clothing and collapsing onto his bed. For the first time since they’d napped together, Steve actually fell right to sleep.

When he finally awoke, the room was bright with daylight and the bed was warm from the growing heat. Shifting over, Steve reached out to feel for Bucky, but the bed was empty. His eyes shot open and he rolled over, searching the room. After a few seconds, he heard a noise coming from the kitchen and he sat up.

“Buck?” He called.

“I’m out here,” Bucky replied.

Steve rubbed his eyes and looked over, checking the clock on the table. It read _11:04_. “Wow,” he muttered before scooting to the edge of the bed and searching for his pants.

Once dressed, Steve made his way to the living room to find Bucky cooking. “Hi,” he said, tucking a lock of hair behind his ear and smiling.

“Hi,” Steve replied, stepping forward and taking Bucky in his arms. “Good morning.”

“I hope you like blueberry pancakes,” Bucky whispered against his neck. “I also have bacon and fruit.”

“Can I help?”

“I got it,” Bucky answered. “There’s coffee, too.”

Steve released him and pressed a small kiss to his cheek before stepping past him to grab a mug. “How did you sleep?” He asked as he grabbed the pot to pour himself some.

“Great,” Bucky replied, smiling at him. “You?”

“Better than I have in years,” he replied honestly. “What do you have going on today? Obviously you don’t work, considering the time.”

Bucky chuckled. “No work today. I don’t have any set plans, just some cleaning and laundry, really.”

Steve took a long drink of coffee. “Would it be alright if I hung around? Or will I be in the way?”

“You won’t be in the way,” Bucky answered with a smile as he plopped a final pancake onto a plate. “Have as much as you want.”

Steve stepped forward and pressed another kiss to Bucky’s cheek. These simple touches that communicated so much had been exceedingly difficult only twenty-four hours before. If they could become so easy… maybe Steve could do this.

“Thank you,” he said, smiling.

They ate in companionable silence and then Steve washed the dishes while Bucky started his laundry. They brushed their teeth and Bucky continued working while Steve watched him. He loved everything about this, seeing Bucky so light and carefree, just as he’d been when they first met.

He wanted to see it all the time, he realized, and a powerful feeling rocked through him.

It was a shock to realize how in love he was, how fast he’d fallen, and how close he’d come to losing it.

When Bucky finished folding his towels and putting them away, Steve walked over and took his face in his hands. Bucky’s eyes went wide for a moment, so Steve waited, giving Bucky time to push him away if he wasn’t ready for this.

Instead, he wrapped his arms around Steve’s neck and pulled him into a deep kiss. He tasted like mint toothpaste, but something else, something so good it hurt. Steve picked him up by his thighs and carried him toward the bedroom, stopping in the hall to press him against the wall.

“Steve,” Bucky gasped as he ground their hips together.

“Is this okay?” Steve asked, meeting Bucky’s eyes and waiting. “Tell me to stop and I will.”

Bucky leaned close and bit Steve’s bottom lip, playfully. “I know you will.”

Steve made his way to Bucky’s room and laid him on the bed, crawling over him and kissing him hungrily. Bucky reached up and yanked Steve’s shirt over his head, tossing it aside and exploring the exposed skin. Bucky’s thighs fell open and Steve spread his own to be able to grind their bodies together.

Steve loved every piece of Bucky – his eyes, his neck, his chest, thighs, everything. He loved the way Bucky felt around him, the way he tasted, the sounds he made. There were so many things he wanted to do to him, with him, that he struggled to pick just _one_.

An idea occurred to him then and he slowed the roll of his hips. “Buck,” he rasped, “do you want to fuck me?”

Bucky’s eyes snapped open and he stared at Steve in open wonder. “You’d… let me?”

“Let you?” Steve repeated, wanting to spit the word out. “If it’s what _you_ want, I want it too.”

Bucky was silent for a moment, though neither of them stopped moving altogether. “I know you’re trying to prove something,” he finally said in a voice so level, it almost startled Steve, considering what they were doing. “But you don’t have to. I know you mean this.”

“It isn’t just about proving something, Buck,” Steve whispered, leaning down to press a firm kiss to Bucky’s lips. “I like feeling full,” he went on, “and if you want to fill me up, I want it.”

Bucky shivered beneath him, eyes going hazy as he appeared to imagine doing what Steve had offered. “Fuck, that’s so hot but… not this time? This time, I want you inside me.”

Steve groaned and nodded, kissing Bucky hard and grinding against him. He pulled away to remove Bucky’s shirt before kissing his way down Bucky’s chest and abdomen. When he reached Bucky’s sweatpants, he looked up to check in, wanting to ensure that Bucky was okay with moving forward.

What he found there… well, it didn’t leave him with any uncertainty. Bucky’s eyes were open but lidded, his skin was flushed, and his breaths came fast. His abdomen was clenching as if he were close to coming already and that… did something to Steve.

Steve didn’t make him wait any longer. He tugged his pants off and swallowed him down, relaxing his throat to take him deep. Bucky cried out, reaching down and grabbing Steve’s shoulders. The sounds Bucky released when he was like this – those high, desperate moans and whines – they drove Steve mad. In those moments, all he could do was focus on pleasing Bucky, encouraging him to be loud.

“Steve,” Bucky gasped when Steve swallowed around him. “Steve, oh God, I – ah!” When Steve looked up his body, their eyes met, and he held Bucky’s gaze as he bobbed his head. “Oh, my God, oh, my God.”

He wrapped his hands around Bucky’s thighs, holding them open, as he licked and sucked his cock. He felt spit on his chin and his eyes watered when he took him deep, but the discomfort was nothing compared to the intense pleasure of seeing Bucky – _his_ Bucky – fall apart.

“Baby, Steve, fuck,” he cried out. “You’re gonna make me come!”

Steve smiled as best he could with a dick in his mouth and doubled down on his efforts. Bucky arched his back, panting, and the way his abdomen tightened as he got closer and closer did things to Steve’s cock.

Bucky cried out, coming down Steve’s throat; he would have been fucking Steve’s mouth if not for the hold Steve had on him. Slowly, Steve released Bucky’s dick and wiped his face, kneeling and enjoying his handiwork.

“You like that?” He asked and Bucky breathed out a laugh.

“Liked it?” He repeated. “You could say that.”

Steve grinned and leaned over, digging in the bedside drawer for the bottle of lube. “Can you hold your legs for me?” He asked, running his fingertips over Bucky’s thighs. With a nod, Bucky grabbed his knees and pulled them toward his chest, exposing his ass to Steve’s gaze. “Oh, baby,” he breathed, running a dry finger along the cleft. “I think I’m gonna eat you out.”

Before Bucky could even respond, Steve was back down on his belly, pressing his tongue inside Bucky. He pulled back and licked over the rim, turning Bucky into a thrashing mess. Holding him against the bed was easy with Steve’s strength, but a big part of him enjoyed the rawness of Bucky’s response.

He was always like that in one way or another – wholly himself, no matter what.

And Steve loved him.

Finally, he poured some lube on his fingers and pulled away a bit so he could press one gently inside Bucky’s body.

“Steve, fuck,” he moaned as Steve found his prostate immediately.

“Good?” Steve asked and Bucky nodded emphatically.

With that, Steve pressed a second finger inside and Bucky’s hands slipped, letting his knees fall. Steve took one leg and tossed it over his shoulder and leaned over Bucky a bit, maintaining the angle he’d had.

“Oh, oh God,” Bucky whined.

“Too much?” Steve asked but Bucky shook his head.

“No, ‘s good, so good.”

Steve growled at that and pressed a third finger inside, though he made sure to go slowly until he knew that he wasn’t hurting Bucky. His concerns evaporated when he felt Bucky begin to fuck himself down on Steve’s hand.

“Ready, ‘m ready, please,” Bucky rambled and Steve nodded his head.

“Yeah, okay,” he rasped, gently pulling his hand free to spread lube over his cock.

He held Bucky’s legs against his body as he slid inside him, releasing a moan of his own as he bottomed out. Licking his lips, Steve leaned over Bucky, testing his flexibility – though in the last month, he’d yet to find the limit.

“You feel so good,” he rumbled. “So good for me.”

“Wanna be good,” Bucky whispered.

Steve smiled before pulling out and thrusting back in. Bucky gasped and threw his head back, reaching up to grip his pillow in both hands. The display he made, body stretched taut, had Steve’s head spinning.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” he said as he began fucking him in earnest. “My sexy fuckin’ boyfriend, can’t believe you’re all mine.”

Bucky released a shocked moan. “Wanna be yours, Steve.”

“You are,” Steve whispered. “And I’m yours.”

Bucky nodded his head but didn’t respond; he shifted a bit awkwardly and Steve leaned back, letting Bucky slide his thighs off his shoulders. Wrapping them around Steve’s waist, he pulled him closer again, and buried his hands in Steve’s hair.

It was then that Steve felt Bucky’s dick rubbing against his abs, having gotten hard again. Steve moaned and dropped to his forearms, pulling Bucky into a kiss. He teased Bucky’s lips with his tongue until he opened his mouth, allowing Steve inside. His rhythm broke down momentarily, as the kiss deepened, but he quickly picked it back up again.

“Steve,” Bucky whined.

“You gonna come again?”

Nodding his head, Bucky answered, “Wanna come with you inside me.”

Steve shivered violently and began moving faster, aiming right for Bucky’s prostate. In his not-so-limited experience, Steve had only been with one man who could come untouched, and that was Bucky. The idea that Steve was fucking him so well, so right that he didn’t need to even touch his dick was so erotic, it made Steve’s head spin.

“You gonna come for me?”

Bucky nodded his head. “ _Uhn_ , Steve, ‘s all for you. Anything you want, I’ll do it.”

That statement smacked into Steve harder than the bombs he’d survived. “Will you be my boyfriend?” He asked and Bucky gasped, his eyes snapping open. Without waiting for an answer, Steve went on, “Let me take you out and show the world that you’re mine.”

Bucky trembled beneath him, legs clamped around Steve’s waist. “St-Steve, are you sure?”

Nodding, Steve pulled him into a kiss again. He knew that Bucky still held the fear of his attack – it was so clear, Steve was ashamed he’d missed it for so long. But he also knew that they could move forward, taking another step into the future together.

“I’ve never been so sure about anything,” he panted, speeding his hips up and meeting Bucky’s gaze. “You’re the partner I want in my life, Buck.” Bucky’s eyes were wide and anxious but determined. “I’m in love with you,” Steve whispered.

Bucky’s gasp of shock turned into a high moan as he came, shooting off between them. Steve let the way Bucky’s body clamped down on him pull him into his own orgasm as he slammed his hips against Bucky’s and spilled inside him.

“Oh, my God,” he rasped before Bucky pulled him into a deep, slow kiss.

“Did you mean it?” He pleaded against Steve’s lips. “Please, Steve, please tell me you meant it.”

“I meant it,” Steve answered. “I meant every word.”

Biting his lip, Bucky said, “God, I – I never thought you’d… fuck it, I love you too.”

That warm feeling exploded in Steve’s chest and he melted into Bucky’s embrace. They remained there, kissing messily for several minutes before Steve began pulling out.

“Hey, wait,” Bucky said, holding Steve in place. “You’re still hard.”

“That’s okay,” Steve said, “it’s enough for me.”

A mischievous smirk overtook Bucky’s face before he concealed it with a look of innocence. “Don’t you want to make me happy?” He teased and Steve saw right through his doe eyes.

Cocking an eyebrow, Steve answered, “Yes, of course.”

“Don’t you wanna fill me up?” Bucky went on, grinding his ass down against Steve’s hips. Steve shivered in his hold and Bucky rasped, “Don’t you wanna fill me with your come over and over so I know who I belong to?”

A possessiveness filled Steve, driving his hips forward before he caught himself. “Don’t wanna hurt you.” Bucky bit his lip and began moving his hips in a circle, clenching down on Steve’s cock as he did. Steve moaned and let his eyes fall shut. “Buck…”

“Please,” he pleaded and Steve met his gaze. “One is never enough. I need more.”

“Jesus, Buck.” Steve began moving, matching the roll of Bucky’s hips. “You need me to fill you up?”

“Over and over,” Bucky answered.

“Buck,” Steve whispered, swallowing around a dry throat, “I wanna be a little rough with you. Is that okay?”

Nodding, Bucky said, “Want you to fuck me so hard, I can’t walk tomorrow.”

Steve was nearly panting by that point. He had just enough brain power left to ask, “Do you work in the morning?”

Bucky shook his head. “Nope, I’m off tomorrow too.”

Steve hesitated for barely a moment before he pulled out of Bucky, breaking the hold of his strong legs, and flipped him onto his belly. He grabbed his hips and lifted them only enough to shove a pillow underneath him before he angled his cock and slipped inside him again.

Bucky cried out, spreading his legs wider. He was trying to hold his head off of the bed with his forearms, Steve could tell, but it was nearly impossible as Steve fucked him with more strength than he had before. In fact, the only reason Bucky’s head wasn’t slamming into the headboard was that Steve held him in place by his hips.

He played with angles until Bucky’s high moan reached his ears and he knew he’d found Bucky’s prostate again. With a grin, he thrusted against it, ignoring the way his lower back protested mildly. He doubted Bucky could come again but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to enjoy this.

When he felt the lube start to grow tacky, he pulled out and drizzled more directly onto Bucky’s ass before he rubbed it over his dick. “Steve!” Bucky moaned and Steve shushed him.

“Gonna give you what you asked for,” he promised. “But I need you to tell me if it’s too much.”

“I will,” Bucky rasped, “I swear.”

“This is okay?” Steve asked, dipping the head of his dick inside Bucky, teasing him.

“Yes, just… a little sharp. It’s good, I’m not lying. I told you,” he added, “I like it after I’ve come.”

“I remember that,” Steve said. “Okay. I’m gonna come two more times before I stop again unless you tell me to.”

“Come all you want,” Bucky answered, breaths coming out faster as he began pressing back against Steve’s dick.

Steve didn’t hesitate anymore and, instead, slammed home in one thrust. Bucky moaned, rolling his hips as Steve held still, enjoying the lewd way Bucky wanted him. He’d had sex before, of course, but because of who he was, he’d been, well, _vanilla_ about it for a long time.

If he spent the night this way with the wrong person, the story would be splashed across the tabloids in hours. However, there was something in him that had _trusted_ Bucky almost immediately, and he still wasn’t sure what it was, but he’d always followed his instincts.

He made his thrusts long and hard, reveling in the way Bucky’s body gripped him when he pulled out. He held one hand on Bucky’s hip while the other found Bucky’s hand against the bed and threaded their fingers together.

“Oh, God, Steve, you feel so good,” Bucky moaned.

“You feel good too,” Steve rasped before he began moving a bit faster. Soon after, he felt the coiling in his gut as his second orgasm began to bloom. He knew Bucky had said he wanted it but Steve still wanted to ask. “You want me inside?”

“Yes, come inside me,” Bucky affirmed in a sexy, wrecked voice and Steve couldn’t hold back.

He cried out, rolling his hips as he spilled inside Bucky for the second time. When he’d regained some semblance of consciousness again, he realized he was gripping Bucky’s hip hard, _too_ hard, hard enough to bruise and he yanked his hand away.

“Bucky, I’m sor-”

“Don’t apologize,” Bucky interrupted, turning and looking at Steve over his shoulder. “You won’t break me. You might think you’re letting go when you come but you’re not.” Reaching back, he pulled Steve down by his neck, then kissed him. “I don’t like pain in sex but you never hurt me, even when you forget to be careful.”

“That’s gonna leave marks,” Steve whispered, feeling as if cold water had been splashed on him.

“Baby,” Bucky breathed, smiling and beginning to roll his hips again. “You’re so gentle with me, Steve, and I love it but I want your marks on me.”

Steve moaned, feeling his flagging erection begin to perk up again. “Jesus,” he rasped, letting his eyes fall shut, “how do you do that?”

Bucky’s smirk turned predatory and he replied, “You said two times before you checked in again. Since you stopped after that one, do I get two more?”

Steve shivered. “You’re killing me, Buck.”

“Well?” Bucky urged, reaching behind him to grab Steve’s ass.

“You gotta be getting sore,” Steve rasped, though it was getting more and more difficult to focus.

“Not sore,” Bucky answered, pressing a kiss to Steve’s cheek. “It feels so good.”

Steve began moving more confidently then, groaning at the feel of Bucky’s body clenching around him. “Fuck, you feel amazing, Buck. Always so perfect for me.”

Bucky spread his legs further and began moving in time with Steve’s thrusts, pressing back as he pushed forward. Steve collapsed forward, resting on his hands to keep from crushing Bucky, but still he kept fucking him.

His thrusts grew more and more erratic as he felt another orgasm coiling in his gut. “I’m close,” he rasped and Bucky moaned.

“Come for me.”

Steve released a sobbing breath as he did just that, spilling inside Bucky’s body for a third time. His body felt like a live wire, turning fuzzy and hot as he shivered against Bucky’s body. He had no idea when he’d fully collapsed but was grateful to know he’d caught himself on his forearms.

“One more,” Bucky whispered and Steve pressed kisses along the back of his neck.

“Turn over,” he commanded as he pulled out, making them both gasp.

Bucky rolled onto his back and let his thighs fall open. Steve shivered, watching as his come spilled out of Bucky’s ass, while a possessive part of him wanted nothing more than to shove a plug inside him to keep it in.

“Fuck, that’s so hot,” Bucky rasped and Steve realized that he’d said that out loud.

Clearing his throat, Steve asked, “You like that?”

“Hell yes.”

Bucky sat up on the bed and pushed Steve backward until he rested on his back. Crawling over him, Bucky took Steve’s dick in his hand and angled it as he sat down, impaling himself. Steve grabbed Bucky’s hips, releasing his breath through his teeth in a hiss as he focused on not gripping too hard.

When Bucky began riding him, Steve sat up and pulled him into a deep kiss. Bucky wrapped his arms around Steve’s neck and held him close, whispering, “Don’t stop kissing me. Wanna feel close to you.”

Steve nodded his head and did as he was asked, never letting his lips move away from Bucky’s. When he came again, he held Bucky still and shivered through it, panting.

“I love you,” he breathed and Bucky smiled.

“I love you too.”

“Thank you,” Steve whispered and Bucky leaned away.

“For what?”

Steve tucked some hair behind Bucky’s ear and answered, “For giving me the chance to do better.” He pressed a kiss to Bucky’s lips. “It won’t always be easy but I’m willing to put the work in.”

Bucky nibbled his bottom lip for a moment before saying, “You weren’t the only one holding back, Steve. I was too afraid of what you might say if I asked, so… I didn’t ask.”

Nodding, Steve said, “Please know that you can always ask. Okay?”

“And you can always tell me if you’re not in a good place, or something isn’t working. I want to know that stuff so I can help or back off, whatever you need.”

Steve released a breathy laugh and said, “Bucky, I just need you.”

**Author's Note:**

> What'd you think? There is a planned third installment to this series because there is something inside me demanding to have Bucky doing more sexy dancing in non-gym settings, so stay tuned for that. Also, I have a gazillion other fics that I should be finishing (ha haha hahahaha *cries*) so hopefully you will hear from me again soon, whether with more of this or something entirely different. <3  
> Thanks for reading.
> 
> Find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/humapuma817) or [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/humapuma)! Come talk to meeeeee (if you want.)


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